Pregnancy...the REAL version

Let's start at the beginning; first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ... I'm sorry how does it go? A baby carriage? I think we're missing something... Before the baby carriage comes pregnancy. Ah, every woman okay maybe just me, dreams about getting pregnant. Sharing the exciting news with your significant other & embracing the glow of pregnancy. Now, not to say I didn't love the fact that I was having a baby (OF COURSE I DID! My daughter is friggin' amazing!) However, the 9 months it took to 'cook' her, were not my best...Here's a quick run down why.

Morning Sickness

Whoever came up with the term 'morning' sickness is full of $h!t. That is all day, can't eat anything, hate my life & my husband because he can eat whatever he wants sickness. For those lucky ladies who don't get morning sickness, I hate you and we can never be friends. 

Hormones

I was warned that you feel pretty 'hormonal' during pregnancy. It was even described as the way you feel during your period. No big deal right? Watch some chick flicks, eat some ice cream, it will go away. Wrong! Throughout your entire pregnancy you will either cry at absolutely everything, fly off the handle because the store doesn't carry your organic milk, or if you're really lucky you will find that one person in your life pisses you off no matter what they do. There was one person that I loved pre-pregnancy, never bothered me before. But, no matter what they did while I was pregnant I couldn't look at them without imagining punching them in the face. Kind of like in the movie Step Brothers where Randy wants to punch Will Ferrell in the face. True story.
Acne

Never had acne in high school, never experience body acne of any kind. Pregnancy hits and you turn into the poster child for Acutane. Although unlike the poster child for Accutane you are not allowed to treat it. So you look like a knocked up 14 year old. Super fun!
Varicose Veins

This was a super fun (&&painful) side effect of pregnancy that no one tells you about. Why don't they warn you?! And by they I am referring to fellow preggo's, doctors, nurses, any damn one who tells you how great their pregnancy was! (&& How horrible their labor was - why is it that everyone only shares the horror stories of labor? But that's a later topic.) Sitting hurt, standing hurt, pretty much anything hurt.
You pretty much smell & feel like a Water Buffalo 

My poor husband. He dealt with the hormones, the cravings (although I only made him run out for ice cream once!) the morning all day sickness & the wonderful gas. I am amazed he still looks at me and thinks I'm sexy. 

So for all of you Mama's out there that told me how much I would like love being pregnant, you are liars. && I now know why you lied, because having that baby is the BEST feeling in the entire world!