The Village It Takes

I may be new at this whole motherhood thing but I am smart enough to know, that accepting all the help you can is not a sign of weakness. It really does take a village. If you are lucky enough to have great support, accept it. If not for your own sanity, then for your child's best interest.

How functional are you when you're sleep deprived? I am like a walking zombie when I don't get enough sleep. (although at this stage of the game I'm getting a rhythm) And it's not just sleep that you are deprived of, it's energy and patience. So to all the expecting Mama's who read this, this one's for you.

You think you know what to expect after labor, but you are wrong. Those first few days weeks home are not what you think until you get there. You will hurt all over like you've been hit by a damn train. On top of this everyone wants to visit you (not everyone is a helpful guest either), and you now have a sweet little bundle of joy who cries, sleeps, eats and poops every hour. "Sleep when baby sleeps" they tell you. I want to know how?! How am I supposed to sleep when she does? Because I still have to pump, do laundry so there are clean bibs and blankets, shower, go to the bathroom or gasp find the time to eat something?!

You know how I figured it out? I asked for help. I'm not ashamed of that. I know when I was a baby that my Aunts and Grandmother's were around to help. My daughter and husband come first, absolutely, but part of that means I have to be able to function. So I learned to ask family members to hold her so I could take a blessed shower, or so I could fold the laundry or wash the bottles. I know that people offered to do these things for me, but I found that those 15 minutes of doing something that felt normal to me, brought me back to my center.

I figured out a schedule with my Mother-in-Law and Mom to come over 1 or 2 days a week when I was on maternity leave so I could do the errands that were easiest without a baby in tow. Or so I could clean the house.

 One of the things that people told me during pregnancy was 'Oh you won't be able to keep such a clean house when the baby gets here'. Being a neat freak and liking order, are part of who I am. Just because I am a Mama now doesn't mean I as a person, change. I still keep a clean house (thank goodness my daughter loves the vacuum) but that's only because I've learned a new way to keep things organized at home.

I thank God for my awesome husband who drops everything as soon as he comes home to help me with the baby or to do things around the house. I am also grateful for the wonderful mother-in-law and mom that I have who play a big role in being there for my baby. In turn, this makes my life easier. I know that my little lady is spending quality time with people who mean a lot to me and her. And while she gets to bond with these great ladies, I am able to do the things that keep my household running.

You don't realize how much YOU do for your family until the baby gets here. Sure, some things can be pushed to the side, but not everything can come to a screeching halt. Bottom line Mama's, don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't feel like you're not doing it right because you aren't doing every little thing yourself. You will work yourself into exhaustion. Just take it one day at a time, and accept a helping hand here and there. You will get get a routine down and you will find a balance. I'd say you're doing awesome!