Maple Overnight Oats

So I was discussing this awesome trend of overnight oats with several coworkers the other day and decided to finally try it. I wanted something that would be easy to grab on my way out the door that was healthy and would keep me full. Here goes my first attempt! 

Maple Overnight Oats

1/4 cup maple syrup

1 tsp pure vanilla extract 

1 cup low fat or fat free milk*

2 cups old fashioned rolled oats

1 tsp cinnamon 

5 oz vanilla Greek yogurt 

*This would probably be lighter on the calorie side if you replace cows milk with almond or flaxseed milk.

In a large bowl whisk all ingredients except for oats together until smooth. Then stir in oats. Once well combined pour into covered dish or mason jars and let soak overnight.

The aftermath of attempting to mix this in a bowl too small! 

Come first thing tomorrow you have a delicious and slightly healthier breakfast for your busy morning rush! 

Peanut Butter Dip

In the summer I hate to bake. Don't get me wrong I LOVE cookies and cake and brownies, oh my! But turning on the oven when it's 100 degrees outside is not ideal. So my go-to recipe is rice krispy treats. Although I make them with varying cereals (fruity pebbles are the best!) 

So when we were asked to bring a dessert to a BBQ this weekend I was planning on making my usual. Apparently hubby is tired of these sweet treats. So it was back to the drawing board... Thanks to Pinterest I found a couple of recipes to try and finally made a version of peanut butter dip that I was happy with! 

Ingredients:

1 cup chopped peanut butter cups

1 cup chocolate chips 

1 stick butter

8 oz. package of whipped cream cheese 

1/2 cup creamy peanut butter

1/2 cup dark brown sugar 

1/2 cup powdered sugar

In a sauce pan melt butter and whisk in brown sugar until dissolved. Remove from heat and let cool. (Pop it in the fridge while you prep everything else).

In a large mixing bowl combine powdered sugar, peanut butter and cream cheese. Beat until nice and smooth. 

Slowly mix in the cold brown sugar butter mixture.

Once thoroughly mixed add in your chocolate chips and chopped peanut butter cups.

Place entire mixture into a glass or metal bowl and refrigerate at least one hour before serving.

Best served with pretzels for a sweet and salty combo! Or try with graham crackers (although that might be overly sweet)

Lemon Sugar Scrub

I love a good sugar scrub! I have sensitive skin so I played around with store bought scrubs (which get pricey) and also some DIY varieties. Finally I've found a few that work great for me! The upside is its relatively inexpensive to make and I tend to keep all of the ingredients in my pantry. Below is my fav body scrub! Hope you enjoy it! 

Lemon Sugar Scrub 

Ingredients:

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup coconut oil

Tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon

Tablespoon honey 

*feel free to play around with the honey and and amount of lemon to get the texture you prefer.

Mix all ingredients in a bowl and use right away or store in a sealed container or mason jar! This is a great scrub for all over as it moisturizers while exfoliating. 

I will note that when I need a good face scrub I will replace the coconut oil with olive oil and add more lemon. As I mentioned before I've got sensitive skin so this is just a version that works best for me.

The Morning Rush

I think we all imagine that maternity leave will be this great time off of work to figure out this new little baby and start to get a routine together. It is certainly NOT a vacation. Being home with a baby all day is a full time job. Kudos to the Mama's who stay home with their babies (&& even bigger shout out  for the Mama's with multiple babies at home - you're awesome!). Those precious weeks are amazing because you spend 24/7 with this little miracle. You watch her start to become more alert and learn from her every day. You witness her roll over and start to cooh at you, you get to see that first smile and rock her to sleep. It is wonderful, but also overwhelming. As maternity leave came to an end I panicked! I was going back to work and leaving my bubble. How am I going to do this?! Get ready, get her ready, drop her off and then go to work all day?


It's drastically different then your pre-baby life. You can no longer run out of the house and make it to work in 15 minutes. No, now you have to prepare yourself, the baby & of course there is always an outfit change for one of you before sprinting out the door.

Thankfully I have a great job and work with awesome people. I've even had to bring little lady to work with me in a pinch.

Now that we've hit the 3 month mark I feel like I'm finally getting into a rhythm. Here are a couple of things I've found helpful.

1. Get your bags packed and in the care the night before. After bath time and playing and that final bottle when she zonks out for the night, I pack up my work bag and her diaper bag for the next day and load them in the car. Its one less thing to carry out the door or forget in the AM.

2. Pack your lunch or snacks the night before. I am trying to get back into my Sunday meal prep routine as this makes a huge difference! But at the very least if you pack up your breakfast, lunch or snacks at night all you have to do is grab the bag and throw it in your purse before your head out to daycare.

3. Wake up early and shower while she sleeps. We've finally gotten her into an awesome pattern of sleeping through the night (holding my breath it lasts). Thanks to this I can get up at 5:15-5:30 and jump in the shower why she is still snoozing. Granted this means I run around in my towel for the rest of the morning but hey it works.

4. Skip the blow dryer - ain't nobody got time for that! Between the heat and the noise you're doing yourself (& your hair a favor). Albeit my hair looks somewhat scary in the AM, it's worth it to run around and let it air dry rather than risk waking her up before I'm ready.

5. Get dressed at the last minute. My little lady is the Queen of spit up. I quickly learned spending my morning in a towel or robe is best. I get her ready and throw on my dress the minute before we walk out the door. You may laugh but it is way easier than trying to change yourself 3 times.

6. Toys & noise. I keep her busy with music playing on my iPhone, or white sound if she's fussing. She is her mother's daughter as she LOVES the vacuum. Once I get her strapped into her car seat I give her a fun toy to keep herself occupied while I throw my lunch into my purse and slip on my shoes.

I am sure that these are all old hat to the veteran Mama's out there but if you're new to mommyhood like me I hope they prove useful.

Mom Bod

It's summer, therefore it's hot, & it's bathing suit season. I have a boat, live by the river and love to swim. I've always been a bit of a sun goddess when it comes to warmer weather (yes I am aware I will pay for my overly sun exposed skin) but this year I'm not... no preamble is needed to explain I just had a baby. She is the most amazing thing in this world without a doubt, but my body post baby, is not. Confidence is something I have always struggled with. I think most females do.

I have rocked a bikini for years but I haven't always felt good about it. I've worked out and eaten healthy and lost weight to a certain goal to 'feel' better about myself. But I never do. The number can go down but the confidence still doesn't go up. Like most Mama's you can imagine that trying on a bathing suit is not exactly fun after giving birth. Hell, trying on pre-pregnancy clothes was a sad struggle (& still is at 3 months). And you know what? I'm tired of it. Tired of caring and being so hard on myself. It's not an easy overnight change. And the love and attention my husband gives me certainly helps. He likes the whole package so why shouldn't I?

After reading more and more articles and posts about the 'Dad Bod' I have to step back and laugh at myself. The 'Dad Bod' is a 'nice balance between a beer gut and working out' according to Mackenzie Pearson, the original genius who coined the term. And I have to say I agree with her! This shows a man who is busy in life and finds a balance. My hubby is the most amazing Dad in my eyes. He works his tail off and still comes home ready to give all his attention to our baby & to me. Now that is sexy.

So my question is where's the 'Mom Bod'? As if we don't place enough pressure on ourselves to look good or fit society's image of being a stick figure. (News flash skinny doesn't always mean healthy, and healthy doesn't always mean skinny.) Now I'm not trying to knock the women who find the time to workout and enjoy leading a healthy lifestyle, kudos to you! What I'm saying is, why shouldn't all Mama's be seen in the same light? Why shouldn't we be given more praise for throwing on a swimsuit regardless of size and jumping in the waves with our kids? Because at the end of the day, we're all busy, we've all got different lifestyles and priorities. So you know what's hotter than a woman hanging out at the pool in her itsy bitsy? A woman with a baby on her hip rocking that sweet tankini, a Mama slathering sunblock on her baby with a smile on her face, a Mom swimming with her little ones... Happiness creates confidence. And while we may not feel confident 100% of the time, I'm not going to care what anyone thinks of me and my awesome one piece anymore. I'm going to live life and be happy.

Egg White Spinach & Ham Quiche

I LOVE quiche! I love eggs in general but there is something so satisfying about buttery crispy pie crust and yummy cheese filled eggs all mixed together. I was craving quiche the other night but was determined to make it semi healthy so I used egg whites and lots of spinach this time. Forgive the lack of pictures... Cooking with a fussy baby doesn't always allow for picture taking. 

Ingredients:

5 egg whites

3/4 cup milk (I use 2%)

Premade frozen deep dish pie crust (I love pie crust but clearly don't have the time to start from scratch)

Chopped spinach (8-10 oz. thawed, rinse and dried)

1/4 lb. chipped tavern ham (or any ham of your choice) 

1 cup shredded sharp cheddar

1 cup shredded mozzarella 

*Feel free to use any cooked meat, cheese or veggie of your choice. You can't mess up quiche! 

Preheat your oven to 450. 

Place your pie crust on a cookie sheet for easy transfer to and from the oven.

In a large bowl whisk egg whites and milk.

Add spinach, ham and cheese and mix thoroughly. *Will be really thick

Pour your mixture into pie crust and place in the oven for 45-50 minutes. 

Let cool for 5-10 minutes before serving. 

Goes great with fresh fruit or a small side of greens. 

Chicken Salad - My Way

Today is a precious vacation day! So what better way to spend a gorgeous blue sky 85 degree day than out on the river? Hubby and I are going to enjoy a day date on the boat. And one of my favorite things to make for the boat is my chicken salad. Now, I am not a fan of mayonnaise. I don't eat other people's chicken salad for this reason. But I was determined to find a recipe for a guilt free yummy option to take out in the hot weather. So here is my version of chicken salad!

*Yes, that's a tumbler of sangria for the boat as well

Ingredients:
Baked boneless skinless chicken breasts (1-2) cubed
Cup of red or green grapes halved
Cup of Craisins
1 Granny Smith Apple diced
4 -5 oz. Plain Greek yogurt
1-2 Tablespoons lemon juice
Large bowl

I precook my chicken with olive oil salt and pepper in the oven the night before (If I have time!) so that it's cool when I make the salad. Then I just cube it up that day.

In a large bowl mix your yogurt and lemon juice. Then add in remaining ingredients and stir until everything is coated.

This is best if you let it sit a few hours in the fridge before serving. This way all the flavors mix together!

I love the textures and flavor combination you get with this salad. It's refreshing on a hot day and a low cal option for that bikini your rockin'!

The Village It Takes

I may be new at this whole motherhood thing but I am smart enough to know, that accepting all the help you can is not a sign of weakness. It really does take a village. If you are lucky enough to have great support, accept it. If not for your own sanity, then for your child's best interest.

How functional are you when you're sleep deprived? I am like a walking zombie when I don't get enough sleep. (although at this stage of the game I'm getting a rhythm) And it's not just sleep that you are deprived of, it's energy and patience. So to all the expecting Mama's who read this, this one's for you.

You think you know what to expect after labor, but you are wrong. Those first few days weeks home are not what you think until you get there. You will hurt all over like you've been hit by a damn train. On top of this everyone wants to visit you (not everyone is a helpful guest either), and you now have a sweet little bundle of joy who cries, sleeps, eats and poops every hour. "Sleep when baby sleeps" they tell you. I want to know how?! How am I supposed to sleep when she does? Because I still have to pump, do laundry so there are clean bibs and blankets, shower, go to the bathroom or gasp find the time to eat something?!

You know how I figured it out? I asked for help. I'm not ashamed of that. I know when I was a baby that my Aunts and Grandmother's were around to help. My daughter and husband come first, absolutely, but part of that means I have to be able to function. So I learned to ask family members to hold her so I could take a blessed shower, or so I could fold the laundry or wash the bottles. I know that people offered to do these things for me, but I found that those 15 minutes of doing something that felt normal to me, brought me back to my center.

I figured out a schedule with my Mother-in-Law and Mom to come over 1 or 2 days a week when I was on maternity leave so I could do the errands that were easiest without a baby in tow. Or so I could clean the house.

 One of the things that people told me during pregnancy was 'Oh you won't be able to keep such a clean house when the baby gets here'. Being a neat freak and liking order, are part of who I am. Just because I am a Mama now doesn't mean I as a person, change. I still keep a clean house (thank goodness my daughter loves the vacuum) but that's only because I've learned a new way to keep things organized at home.

I thank God for my awesome husband who drops everything as soon as he comes home to help me with the baby or to do things around the house. I am also grateful for the wonderful mother-in-law and mom that I have who play a big role in being there for my baby. In turn, this makes my life easier. I know that my little lady is spending quality time with people who mean a lot to me and her. And while she gets to bond with these great ladies, I am able to do the things that keep my household running.

You don't realize how much YOU do for your family until the baby gets here. Sure, some things can be pushed to the side, but not everything can come to a screeching halt. Bottom line Mama's, don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't feel like you're not doing it right because you aren't doing every little thing yourself. You will work yourself into exhaustion. Just take it one day at a time, and accept a helping hand here and there. You will get get a routine down and you will find a balance. I'd say you're doing awesome!

#Praise

Praise (noun) the act of expressing approval or admiration; commendation; laudation. 

It is amazing what a high you get from receiving praise. Be it at work, school or the best place to receive it, home. I work hard as a professional, try to be a good friend, but my focus, my toughest job is being a good wife & mom. 

I will admit that the kudos I receive at work help keep me motivated. I love hearing that clients are happy or thrilled with a campaign. I love building those relationships. I also appreciate the compliments that my colleagues pay me. I spend 40 hours a week with these people, so liking where I work and who I work with makes this time away from my family worth it. 

As awesome as those things make me feel; the BEST praise, is what I receive from my husband. When he looks at me and says 'I'm proud of you', when I don't think I'v actually done anything worthwhile, yeah that's what it's all about. When I am insecure about my body and my skin after having our sweet little girl, he tells me how amazing he thinks I look. That is what makes me smile. And yet, too often I shake off his compliments. I worry that he says these things because he loves me and wants me to feel more confident. And yes that is true, but his compliment is sincere. 

No one is perfect. I will be the first person to admit that I am far from it. But yet, beneath my tired exterior & insecurities, my husband best friend still finds things to praise about me. I don't thank him enough for this. Nor do I take the time sit back & just truly appreciate what we have together. 

I guess the simple reality is we don't always appreciate the praise we are given & we should! And that telling someone how wonderful amazing handsome funny incredible they are, is an even better feeling. 

What Really Grinds My Gears

In the words of Peter Griffin, "You know what really grinds my gears?" Well I'm going to tell you. Yes, we all have those wonderful pet peeves.. the list of things we cannot stand. And today is just one of those days where I am going to rant about it.

• The endless Facebook Party Invitations... to attend yet another Tastefully Simple, Scentsy, Nerium, Tupperware, etc. party. Please just stop. I appreciate that this line of work is what fits your lifestyle. I have hosted one or two for friends. I have even purchased products. But there is only so much scented wax, dip mixes and face ‘gunk’ a gal can take.
• When you call someone and they don’t answer, but then text you saying ‘Did you call?’ Or better yet, when you miss a call and call that person right back only to have them not answer. #WTF
• People who are tardy! Better yet people who are ALWAYS late. Get your shit together people.
• When you hold the door open for someone and they don’t say ‘thank you’. There's a special place for people like you...And for those people who don't say 'excuse me' when they bump into you. 
• Mom-Shaming or any other kind of shaming. You get a BIG ‘F’ you for that. Mind your own damn business and stop judging people. And might I add, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. #Kindness
• Bad handshakes. Seriously my biggest pet peeve. Especially in a professional setting. And particularly with females. When I go to shake your hand, don’t give me that wimpy dead fish hand shake. Be confident and shake my damn hand like you mean business. 
• Lack of respect for the elderly, teachers, police officers, pretty much any authority figure (parents included). You shouldn't have to earn kindness or respect. It should be automatic until you're truly given a reason to stop being kind. 
• Bad customer service. I don't mean that something went wrong and it's literally not your fault, I mean the people who hate their job lives and are just miserable, so they are rude or disrespectful to you. 
• Chipped nail polish. All the way on, or all the way off honey! 
• Those people who take up the entire aisle in the grocery store! I have about 20 minutes to get in and out with this sleeping baby so please move over. 

Okay, end of rant!

Sorry, Not Sorry

Life in general is a balancing act, and throwing a baby in the mix while trying to stay the same person you were at work beforehand, is kind of hard. I still give it my all, but not everyday is my best day. 

A colleague of mine shared some advice with me the other day. We met with a client to go over some campaign results and brain storm some new changes to continue the success. All went well! (As we hoped) and then on the way out the door, we started talking about a couple of other things that hadn't worked out. I was taking some of it a little personally. She looked at me and said "Never apologize. Always regret." It's okay that things didn't work out as planned; you can admit that you too are disappointed. But you cannot take the weight of a 'failure' at work as a personal reflection.

Now this is coming from a woman who fights tooth and nail to do well by her clients. She under promises & over delivers. She is the epitome of a woman kicking ass in a (sadly still) man's world. She once shared a story with me about her first gig in marketing. She had to attend a large conference and her boss at the time told instructed her that she had to wear a skirt. So she said, "I showed up with my pencil skirt. And tucked into it was one of my husbands oxford shirts and ties. I was the only female there and I meant business." 

This is a woman I admire! So when I admit that I feel I've done everything in my power to right a wronged situation at work, she advises "Regret. That is all you can do." And you know what? She's right. It's called business for a reason. You can't take it personal. 

So when I explain to her that I am feeling somewhat off kilter, trying to balance the baby and work (& feel like a human) she gets it. She's been there. After raising her two children and advancing her own career, she knows how I feel. As important as my job is to me, and as much as I enjoy it, the stress of work cannot come home with me. The sun does not rise & set on my career. It revolves around my family. There is a balance and I will find it. 

Even though every woman has a different story, it all comes down to one thing in my opinion. SUPPORT. It's the loving husband that I have, the awesome family & amazing work family that keep me on my A-game. Although I have to admit Redbull helps keep me functioning more like a human and less like a zombie. 

So at the end of the day, I am giving it my best. & If it doesn't pan out the way I hoped, I certainly regret that it didn't. But tomorrow's a NEW day. So sorry, not sorry #ThisChickIsStillGonnaKickAss

Summertime Means Sangria

One of my favorite things about summertime is making sangria. I LOVE a good white sangria, summertime or not! But with the temperature rising I thought sharing my favorite recipe would be a good way to kick off the weekend!

Sweet Summertime Sangria

Ingredients:
2 Bottles of Riesling
2 liter of 7 Up
1 Bottle of Cruzan Mango Rum
2 White Peaches
2 Red Delicious Apples
2 Oranges
Handful of Strawberries
Handful of Grapes

Directions: 
Slice all fruit and place in the bottom of a large pitcher or 2 gallon beverage dispenser.

Pour about 3/4 bottle of the rum over the fruit then add both bottles of Riesling.

Top off with half of the 7 UP.

Stir with a large spoon and let sit in fridge for 2-3 hours before serving. Or if needed right away (like I usually do) serve over ice! Just remember to spoon some of that delicious fruit into your glass too!

If you are looking for other fabulous recipes, be sure to check out my girlfriend Brooke's blog! She has some delish recipes!

The FOURTH Trimester

For some reason everyone tells you about the miracle of pregnancy (liars) & the amazing journey that labor is (more liars). But no one tells you about life after labor. Not just the whole 'adjusting to motherhood' spiel, but the fact that you are not the same person physically or mentally. Why don't they tell us?! So for any other new Mama's out there who maybe weren't warned what you would feel like, here's a short synopsis as I've experienced it thus far.

Your body is nothing like it was pre-pregnancy. Unless you are a celebrity or a freak of nature (either way, I envy you). Losing the weight takes time (duh) but it's not just the weight, everything is different. Your hips are wider (my pants will never fit again), your boobs are huge (&& they hurt a lot). If your like me you have fantastic facial acne! Which only gets worse with breastfeeding because your hormones are all over the damn place. I had my baby this spring so now that we have transitioned into summer I was forced to shop for a new bathing suit as last seasons bikinis were certainly not an option! Talk about a fun experience! I know that my body created a human being (pretty amazing) and that my stretch marks and extra 'cushion' are the result. But that doesn't make it easy to accept all of these changes. It's just one day at a time and slowly fitting back into some pre-pregnancy clothing that makes it easier.

Super Maxi Pads are YOUR BFF. No seriously, you will develop a love of super thick, twin mattress sized pads for the first couple of weeks as you continue to gush blood. Thankfully I had some Mama friends who warned me beforehand and I stocked up early! And the large, unattractive underwear they give you at the hospital are the best things on earth during those first 2 weeks. Stock up sister!

Hormones suck. They just do! Besides the fabulous craters placed upon my face, I am also an emotional train wreck. I thought I was hormonal during pregnancy, nope looking back that was a cake walk. Everything makes me cry or angry. No I am not depressed, I am simply trying to balance the baby, family life, work and feeling like a human in general. It's not easy; and I am not looking for pity because women go through this every day! Kudos to all the Mama's out there making it work!

Guilt. Going back to work makes you feel this incredible sense of guilt. And loving family & friends who say things like "You don't HAVE to go back to work" make you feel even better about yourself. But knowing that you work to provide a good life for your baby, and setting an example of being a strong, successful woman for my daughter, is part of what gets me through the day.

Exhaustion. I wish I had listened to everyone who said to sleep and nap as much as possible during pregnancy. I wish, I wish, I wish. You will never sleep good again. Or at least not for another 20 years or so.

It's getting hot in here. No seriously I think the AC is broken. Oh wait, it's just me. Seriously I am so sweaty and hot all the time. It feels like there is an oven strapped to my damn back. Is this what hot flashes feel like? God bless all the women who suffer through that.

Sex. You want it... BAD and your body hates you at the same time. But with a little patience and a loving partner you will get your groove back. Just remember you are super fertile postpartum & you need to wrap it up. #Enoughsaid.

The BEST thing about the fourth trimester is that sweet baby you get to hold every day. You get to look into those eyes and know that you made this little miracle.

Labor ... The Truth & Whole Truth So Help Me Epidural

I planned a natural birth. I even wrote typed a birth plan. Knowing, mind you, that your body does not listen to you, or your wishes for the glorious birthing tub and soothing sounds of Jack Johnson. No, no your body has other plans. I know I am not alone in imagining, dreaming and even fearing birth for the first time. I was smart enough to know that it would hurt like hell but that I could deal with pain on my own. && I was ready! I took the birthing classes with my ever loving husband, worked out regularly throughout the pregnancy to maintain my 'strength', used the damn medicine ball, bought the lavender oil, massage tool and packed my speaker to play relaxing music. So as my water broke @ 2:00 AM on a Thursday morning (a slow leak go figure) I thought let's do the damn thing!

Here's how it REALLY played out:

After consulting with my midwife she says I can labor at home and go in later in the morning. No problem! The contractions weren't bad - I could do this all day, no sweat! So we say goodbye to the cats, grab the bags and head to the hospital. This is where is gets fun. The midwife tries to tell me I'm not in labor, so I ugly girl cry, you know like an angry 5 year old? But then after a couple of tests, my instincts are right & it is labor! But we're just getting started so we walk, and walk and walk. After approximately 9 hours of labor my body declares it hates me and we make no progress (none, zip, zero!) so they put me on Pitocin, oh it's just getting fun! Meanwhile hubby is rubbing my back, playing music, talking me through each contraction like the rock-star that he is! & in return I am attempting to break his fingers! At this point my midwife says that I should get an epidural. The Pitocin is going to make the contractions more painful she says. My response? I am woman, hear me roar! I can do this, my body is made for this.

4 Hours later...

Contractions are the devil! If I were in the CIA and needed to torture someone, I would find a way to replicate this pain. Yeah, that'd get 'em talking! So there's this awesome pain, plus I am hungry (no, make that hangry), I am sweaty & a blubbering baby strapped to this damn hospital bed. Let me get back on the medicine ball, put me in the tub! Those will help with this pain! But no, thanks to Mr. Pitocin, you are strapped down with nowhere to go. I think I am going to either break my husbands arm off or break this bed in half. The hulk doesn't not have $h!t on me! Again, my Midwife asks if I want the epidural... NO!

5 Minutes later...

"GET ME THE F^C#ING EPIDURAL!" There is no way to explain this pain. This is like having your limbs ripped off, an atom bomb placed in your belly, & a shit inducing trip to Golden Corral all in one... no that still doesn't cut it... There is just no way to describe it.

The anesthesiologist shows up like a knight in shining scrubs! HALLELUJAH! Oh no wait, you have to sit up & be still while he places a very large needle into your spine. Bless my husband and the nurse whose fingers I think broke at this moment.

Ahhh, sweet relief! I'm just going to close my eyes for a minute...

Suddenly the 'pressure' that comes and goes, won't go away! Sweet, sweet hubby presses the epidural button (rapidly) && I try to explain through gritted teeth that that's not going to do anything. CALL THE NURSE!!

Midwife & nurse breeze in, "What's going on?" Well the pressure won't go away... So she pulls back the sheet & says "Oh there's the head. Looks like we're having a baby!"

RIGHT NOW?! 

If we go back in time to those birthing classes, I can remember telling my husband he won't be going 'south of the border' during labor. But, OF COURSE there isn't enough time to get another nurse and the midwife tells hubby, "Grab a leg Daddy!" He looks at me & says, you HAVE to see this! The nurse responds with, "I'll get the mirror!" I didn't want the mirror! I can FEEL everything just fine, I don't need to see it. They made me look -  enough said.

Finally, one more push and out comes my sweet 7lb 4oz little miracle! She is the most amazing thing I have ever laid eyes on. Feeling the weight of that sweet baby on my chest was the best feeling! All of that pain was worth it as I say to my hubby, "Look what we did Daddy! Look what we made."

Moral of the story - Epidural is my new best friend && I will have him on speed dial for the next time!

Pregnancy...the REAL version

Let's start at the beginning; first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ... I'm sorry how does it go? A baby carriage? I think we're missing something... Before the baby carriage comes pregnancy. Ah, every woman okay maybe just me, dreams about getting pregnant. Sharing the exciting news with your significant other & embracing the glow of pregnancy. Now, not to say I didn't love the fact that I was having a baby (OF COURSE I DID! My daughter is friggin' amazing!) However, the 9 months it took to 'cook' her, were not my best...Here's a quick run down why.

Morning Sickness

Whoever came up with the term 'morning' sickness is full of $h!t. That is all day, can't eat anything, hate my life & my husband because he can eat whatever he wants sickness. For those lucky ladies who don't get morning sickness, I hate you and we can never be friends. 

Hormones

I was warned that you feel pretty 'hormonal' during pregnancy. It was even described as the way you feel during your period. No big deal right? Watch some chick flicks, eat some ice cream, it will go away. Wrong! Throughout your entire pregnancy you will either cry at absolutely everything, fly off the handle because the store doesn't carry your organic milk, or if you're really lucky you will find that one person in your life pisses you off no matter what they do. There was one person that I loved pre-pregnancy, never bothered me before. But, no matter what they did while I was pregnant I couldn't look at them without imagining punching them in the face. Kind of like in the movie Step Brothers where Randy wants to punch Will Ferrell in the face. True story.
Acne

Never had acne in high school, never experience body acne of any kind. Pregnancy hits and you turn into the poster child for Acutane. Although unlike the poster child for Accutane you are not allowed to treat it. So you look like a knocked up 14 year old. Super fun!
Varicose Veins

This was a super fun (&&painful) side effect of pregnancy that no one tells you about. Why don't they warn you?! And by they I am referring to fellow preggo's, doctors, nurses, any damn one who tells you how great their pregnancy was! (&& How horrible their labor was - why is it that everyone only shares the horror stories of labor? But that's a later topic.) Sitting hurt, standing hurt, pretty much anything hurt.
You pretty much smell & feel like a Water Buffalo 

My poor husband. He dealt with the hormones, the cravings (although I only made him run out for ice cream once!) the morning all day sickness & the wonderful gas. I am amazed he still looks at me and thinks I'm sexy. 

So for all of you Mama's out there that told me how much I would like love being pregnant, you are liars. && I now know why you lied, because having that baby is the BEST feeling in the entire world!